About two months before quitting my job, I started to not really care about what I was doing, and that made me realize that it was time to move on. My boyfriend Ajari and I had thought about making video games for a while but never actually pursued it. Thinking about quitting and just making video games made me excited and made me feel happy when day dreaming about it. As the time got closer to leaving my job, I started getting nervous about telling the company I was with I was quitting. I loved all of the people there and did enjoy the variety of work and learning I got out of it. I was also a great asset to the company as well since I was multi-talented.
Taking the Jump
A month before quitting, I ended up sending in my resignation. They seemed upset but it wasn’t as bad as I had thought thankfully. A great feeling of relief came over me after that…but so did fear. Wow, I’m going to cut out the stability of payment and move into the wilderness of Entrepreneurship. I also am aware that indie game companies have a fairly low success rate. I’ve worked for one that failed 10 years ago and the last job I had dealt with video game companies as clients and many did not live past a year or two.
I was happy yet sad when the day finally came to leaving my job to do stuff for myself. I took a couple weeks for vacation with a friend into another state. That should get me all ready and worked up to start creating our video game, right!? Wrong… After coming back from vacation, I knew that it was time to start doing what I needed to do, but that fear lingered again as reality and negative thoughts of uncertainty sank in. What if we don’t make any money? What if Ajari loses his job? Do we even know what to do as a company? These thoughts caused me a great deal of stress and loss of sleep from the start. A few people that I knew also tried to talk me down, saying that it’s to difficult and when I realize we’re not making money, I’ll be back at my old job. It wasn’t these nice turn of events like I had daydreamed about…it’s scary and people will try to knock you down!
When Life gives you lemons
It’s also not easy when things go wrong and I consider myself to have HORRIBLE luck. A few months ago, we got a huge bill that was taken out of our account out of no were (that we already paid, but ” they never received the bill ” ). Both of our cars break down a day apart from each other as well. We had NO money to eat, rent was due and we had two broken down cars. We had to recycle bottles in order to get enough money to eat! Coincidentally, a friend called us up not long after to give us money he borrowed froma a year before. It has taken us a while to recover from it, but we have. When things like this happen, It does seem that you get what you ” need ” when you truly need it. When bad things happen, pick yourself up and keep at it! Learn from your downfalls that you face. To me they are just chances to grow for yourself.
This thing called Law of Attraction
When uncertainty rears it’s ugly head, I know that I have to counter act this with positive thoughts. I know that ” like attract like ” and have witnessed this a lot. If there is an emo person who talks about not feeling well constantly, who feels ” old ” when they aren’t, ” bored ” all the time or ” nobody ” loves them, they will keep feeling this way until the end of time or until they change their thought process into positive thoughts. This is the same when pursuing your goals. If you are constantly worrying that if you leave your job, that failure is inevitable, it’s probably going to be inevitable because you are what you think.
I am in no way ” blind ” to reality and the possible outcomes that can happen, but constantly thinking of the worst case scenario isn’t really reality and just blocks you from doing what you really want to do. Don’t be concerned about how other people think of how you are actually letting go of stability, they are just dwelling on their own fears. If your gut gives you butterflies and you get a twinkle in your eye when you think about pursuing something, just do it! You are never to old to pursue something you love. If you’re alive, you have a life. Why spend your life in boredom and misery? I know that I’m going to stay positive no matter what life throws at me and hopefully it takes me to better and greater things!