#AltDevBlog

Jaymin Kessler

you miss L1 so much that you cry yourself to sleep every night with a picture of it under your pillow. IBM changed the PS3s cache associativity section in the HW manual to a disclaimer: It reads "no-way associated with your code". Miss Teen S. Carolina saw your stl container overusage and thought it could help countries like The Iraq that dont have maps. you spill so much that even BP is glad they're not you. I heard your render func is in a contest with Gran Turismo 5 to see which is finished first. your shader only does one lookup... and its the phone number for the suicide prevention hotline. your code is so overengineered, that even Erich Gamma, Richard Helm, Ralph Johnson and John Vlissides cant understand it. Your DMA transfers have so many stalls, I thought your MFC was having a matsuri. mike action realized Insomniac can greatly improve graphics AND go back to 60fps just by firing you. Oh, hai! I rewrote your code to use linked lists. It reduced cache misses by 75%. The Mayans looked into the future, saw 2012 lines of your code, and were convinced humanity is screwed. Speaking of SPURS, you have so few jobs scheduled that the US government had to adjust their unemployment numbers. I heard your cache just replaced Linfen, China as the most polluted place on Earth! If we ever lose all the Amazon rainforest trees, we could replace them with your code. They have the same number of branches.